When Identity Evolves
I’ve been sitting with this decision for almost a year now.
Turning it over. Questioning it. Avoiding it.
Because I already know the answer…
I just haven’t decided if I’m ready to act on it.
Do I take out my cheek piercings?
I got them for the first time in 2013. At the time, I was working as a piercer. I knew exactly what I was choosing. Cheek piercings aren’t soft, easy adornments. They’re demanding. They’re unpredictable. They require patience, discipline, and a willingness to accept that they may never truly settle.
That didn’t scare me.
If anything, it drew me in.
But they tested me.
Over and over again.
Trauma. Setbacks. Jewelry falling out at the worst possible times. Scar tissue building with every attempt. Mistakes I should have known better than to make. Choices made while drunk that I paid for later. Situations where I quite literally tore through my own skin and didn’t even realize it until it was too late.
Four times I lost them.
Four times I should have stopped.
But I didn’t.
Because when I decide something is mine… I don’t let it go easily.
So I tried again.
In 2018, something shifted.
I wasn’t living the same way. I wasn’t as reckless with myself. I was more intentional, more grounded, more aware of my body. And for the first time, they stayed. These are the piercings I still have now. They’ve flared. They’ve reminded me what they are. But they’ve never pushed me to remove them.
Until now.
Not because they’ve failed me.
But because I’m not sure they still reflect me.
I’ve grown. My life looks different. My child is older now, and that means I’m no longer just moving through my own spaces, I’m stepping into theirs. School drop-offs. Classrooms. Other parents. Other children. And while judgment has never bothered me personally, I’m more aware of how it might ripple outward, how it might land on my child. And then there’s the medical side of my life. I’ve been in and out of appointments more than I ever expected, and I can feel the assumptions before a word is even spoken. The quick glances. The quiet categorizing. Being reduced to something cliché, something predictable, something easier to dismiss.
My brand has evolved into something more refined, more intentional, more aligned with who I am at my core. And I’ve started to question whether these still reflect that.
And I’ve started to feel… a disconnect.
There’s a version of me these piercings represent. One that was louder, more chaotic, more reactive. A version of me that needed to prove something. To herself. To others.
I don’t need to do that anymore.
But letting them go isn’t simple.
They’re part of my face. Part of my identity. Part of how people recognize me. A decades worth of memories, photos and questions.
And if I’m being honest… part of the hesitation is control.
I choose how I’m seen.
I choose how I present.
I choose what people perceive.
But there are moments where that control is challenged. Where judgment slips through in places it shouldn’t. Medical settings. Everyday interactions. Subtle shifts in how I’m treated.
I don’t need approval. But I do pay attention.
And then there’s the part of me that resists change entirely.
I don’t let go of things easily. I hold onto what’s familiar, what’s mine, what I’ve built. Even when I know I’ve outgrown it.
But lately, I feel it.
That quiet sense of being… stuck.
Not unhappy. Not uncomfortable. Just… no longer aligned. And that’s harder to ignore than any irritation or flare these piercings have ever given me.
So now I’m here.
At the edge of a decision I already understand.
Do I keep holding onto something that shaped me…or do I release it because I’ve become something else?
This isn’t about removing jewelry.
It’s about choosing who I am now.
And deciding if I’m ready to let go of who I was.
xoxo Serenity ♡
** below are photos
1st being without cheek piercings due to removal over the years I had them and when I didn’t & the visible dimples they created
2nd being older photos from 2018-current with cheek piercings (and my ever changing hair colour/styles)
